Friday, December 12, 2014

Holiday Blog Hiatus


The holidays are a busy time of year for Me. I typically travel to visit My grandparents and other family in the Midwest. I also have multiple parties to attend. Suffice it to say, I won't have time to entertain you losers with blog posts.

That doesn't mean you get to stop tributing though. Far from it! If anything, you should be sending Me even more gifts. I deserve presents and you're going to buy them for Me.

Don't worry, I've made so easy even a pathetic little worm like you can do it. Just buy something from one of My wishlists. Easy peasy. Can't decide what to get Me? I like gift cards and cold, hard cash too. Use one of the buttons on My tribute page or use My contact form to send Me codes for Amazon gift cards and Greendot MoneyPaks.

Know what else makes an awesome gift? Pay My bills. Why should I have to waste My valuable time slaving away at a mundane job? That's what you're for. Go adopt one or more of My monthly bills right now so I can focus on what's really important - ME!

💳 I Maxed Out My Boy Toy's V-Card

I recently started dating a guy who's quite a bit younger than I am. He's also never had sex before, despite being in his mid-20s....