Wednesday, September 30, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 30

Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Nah. This meme was pretty thorough and I can't think of anything else to say. But what I will do is open the door to My readers. Is there anything you'd like to know about Me that hasn't already been covered either by this meme, My About Me page or My FAQ? Leave your question in the comments.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 29

Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, princess, goddess, ma’am, etc.)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

I prefer to be addressed as "Miss K" but I also accept "Goddess" or "Princess." I only accept "Mistress" from slaves who wear My collar.

As far as the use of titles in general is concerned, I have no opinion. If people want to use them, great. If not, that's cool too. What titles individual people choose to use is none of My business.

Monday, September 28, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 28

How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

I dress however I want. I'm particularly fond of corsets and heels, but I could rock jeans and a t-shirt if I felt like it. I own clothing in styles that run the gamut from romantic Goth to cyberpunk to corporate executive. It depends on My mood and the atmosphere I'm trying to create. The most important factor is whether or not I can move comfortably enough to do what I want to do.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 27

Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Of course! My geeky tendencies find their way into My kink life in the form of erotic role-play scenarios. These often involve transformation of some type, from sissy training to turning My sub into a rubber doll.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 26

What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

I love it. I'm at a point in My life where I'm far too busy to maintain a real life kink relationship. I have too many responsibilities and goals I'm trying to achieve to devote Myself to a D/s relationship. Online play allows Me to be mobile and still get My kink on.

Friday, September 25, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 25

How open are you about your kinks?

I don't go around introducing Myself as dominatrix to people I meet on the street, but I'm not hiding either. Obviously, since I write this blog and engage with people on other social media. If someone asks, I have no issue speaking about Myself, but I see no reason to volunteer information.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 24

What qualities do you look for in a partner?

There are so many factors that go into finding a compatible partner that I hardly know where to begin. A few of the most important qualities are (in no particular order):
  • Intelligence
  • Honesty
  • Loyalty
  • Generosity/likes to spoil Me
  • Being considerate/putting My wants and needs before his own
  • A good sense of humor
  • Nerdy interests like sci-fi/fantasy 
  • Compatible kinks

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 23

Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

Of course they've changed. I've grown as a person, met new and interesting play partners, and been introduced to a much wider variety of activities than when I began My journey into kink at 19. I discovered there's so much more to BDSM than tying up a sub and fucking; there are as many ways to "do BDSM" as there are people. If you can imagine it, there are people somewhere out there doing it and having a hell of a time.

I've discovered I'm much more interested in dominance than I am in topping. I'm not particularly interested in quick "sessions" although there are plenty of people who want to know if I'm available for them. I find sessions boring, hollow, and unsatisfying. Don't get Me wrong; sessions are great for those who enjoy that style of play and I'm not dissing them at all, but they're not for Me. I want to get to know My subs and develop relationships with them. For Me, this is all about the long game.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 22

What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Kinky relationships are still relationships. There is, literally, nothing different about keeping a kinky relationship healthy versus a vanilla relationship. Honesty, integrity, open communication, etc. are all vital elements of any healthy relationship, kinky or otherwise.

Monday, September 21, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 21

Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Hands down, it's Training With Miss Abernathy by Christina Abernathy. I found this book back when I was just a baby domme and it has proved invaluable. I can't say enough good things about it.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 20

Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

After 10+ years, I understand kink/bdsm pretty well. There isn't much I don't understand. There will always be people who make no sense to Me, but that's as true of sports fanatics as it is of kinksters.

Likewise, there aren't many kinky activities I'm curious about; rather, I'm curious about people. 

Saturday, September 19, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 19

Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

I can't think of any unexpected ways kink has improved My life. My life is awesome and would be awesome with or without kink. Because I'm just that fabulous.

Friday, September 18, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 18

Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

One-trick ponies and do-me bottoms. I have zero interest in having a "foot slave" or instructing a guy to suck another guy's cock for My "pleasure". I don't give a fuck about fulfilling your fantasy; you're here to make My life easier and more pleasurable in whatever way I see fit. If you can please Me, then I will probably reward you, but it's not guaranteed. Learn your proper place or GTFO.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 17

What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

There are a couple of misconceptions that go hand-in-hand that need to die in a fire. The first is that kinky people are in any way more open-minded, tolerant, accepting, enlightened, or [insert adjective of choice] than anyone else. We're not.

Kinky people come from all walks of life. We can be religious or not, conservative or liberal, sweet-tempered or bitchy, or any combination of traits you can think of. The kink subculture is as rife with arrogant dipshits who couldn't find their asshole with both hands and a flashlight as the rest of the world. There are also just as many brilliant, creative, and generous people in the kink scene as there are anywhere else. Being kinky is not a badge of honor; it's just like any other hobby. Some people are hardcore fans, others are more casual about it, and others (the "vanillas") don't care about it at all.

Why is this important? Because it means kinky women are just like other women. Say it again for the people in the back.

Kinky women are just like other women.

Oh, you thought just because a woman was kinky it meant she was "easy" or that she would automatically be interested in your wank fantasies? Bwahahahaha! No. 

Here's the thing people, especially kinky men, need to understand: Your pathetic little dick is not special. You are not special. If you are not making time with vanilla women, being kinky is not going to improve your odds. If anything, it will lower your chances because men are statistically more likely to develop sexual fetishes than women. 

Of the women who are kinky, more of them are likely to be submissive than dominant because the patriarchal society we live in tells women their "natural place" is to be submissive. Which is complete bullshit, but most women can't or won't overcome their cultural programming. Not that I'm trying to diss submissive women in any way. I'm not. I completely support a woman's right to make her own choices and do whatever makes her happy and fulfilled, but the bottom line is that dominant women are in shorter supply than submissive ones.

Let that sink in for a minute. There are fewer kinky women than kinky men. There are even fewer dominant women. For every dominant woman, there are probably ten men who claim to be submissive vying for her attention. Dominant women like Me can afford to be picky because we know we're in short supply and our time is a hot commodity.

Now you start to understand why you have to bring your A-game to the table when you're trying to find the dominant woman of your fantasies. It's not about you, it's about her. You have to put her wants and needs before your own Every. Single. Time. If you are truly submissive, then you have to devote yourself to a life of service. Most of you don't have what it takes because you're just selfish, entitled assholes who want to bottom long enough to get your dick wet and then you're done. 

And now you also understand why women require tributes or charge for sessions. Because most guys don't even have an A-game. You've barely got a C-game. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 16

What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Finding partners who can meet My exceptionally high standards is probably the most difficult thing. I need someone who is intelligent enough to keep up with Me and too many submissive men just don't have the brain power to hold up their end of an intelligent conversation that goes beyond talking about kinky sex or sports stats. The vast majority of men are boring as fuck.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 15

Write about a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

I've tried almost everything I've ever wanted to try and then some, so I had trouble coming up with an answer to this question. I think the only thing I haven't done that interests Me is keeping a full-time slave. At some point, I'd like to have a 24/7, live-in slave, but that's not feasible at this point in My life.

Monday, September 14, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 14

How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?

Real life kink looks a lot more vanilla than most people realize. Bills still have to get paid, the house/apartment still has to be cleaned, laundry has to be done, and kinky people are still humans who get sick or have bad days or are just too tired to play sometimes. Real life kink has nothing to do with a sub being locked naked in a cage 24/7 except when taken out to provide sexual service.

Porn videos, books like the 50 Shades trilogy, and other fantasy-based masturbatory materials are not realistic in any way, shape, or form but that's what a lot of submissive men expect. Some spend their lives trying to find someone to provide them with the carefully staged fantasies they've seen in porn, and they will always be disappointed. They will flounder from one partner to another, forever trying to recreate what they've seen or read about, but real life never measures up.

Those guys never seem to realize that what they want is what a professional dominatrix gets paid to provide and that real women have needs, desires, and goals that must be met before the kinky sex happens. Face it, guys, nothing in life is free and you're going to have to pay to ride this ride. Either you're going to pay in time, attention, and being a supportive partner who actually cares about a dominant woman's needs before your own or else you're going to pay in cold, hard cash. Figure out which form of payment you prefer and get comfortable with it.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 13

Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

My primary kink is control. And I'm not talking about having control for a couple of hours or even a couple of days. The kind of control I crave is one of the reasons I enjoy kinks like financial domination. The more I can get into a sub's head and leave a lasting impression, the more it turns me on.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 12

Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I can't think of a humorous experience off the top of My head, but if you can't laugh about it, you're doing it wrong.

Friday, September 11, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 11

What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Generally speaking, I float between RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) and PRICK (Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink). It depends on how much experience the person I’m playing with has and how much trust we’ve established. In general, I expect My subs to be adults who are willing and able to take responsibility for themselves, including advocating to get their needs met.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 10

What are your hard limits?

Besides the obvious things like animals and kids, My hard limits include:
  • Toilet play/menstruation
  • ABDL/diapers/ageplay
  • Incest/pseudo-incest (including “step” relatives)
  • Needle play
  • Race play

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 9

Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

The kinky overtones may not be obvious to the untrained eye, but "Coin Operated Boy" by Dresden Dolls is about as awesome as it gets for those who are into objectification, dollification, transformation, etc. It certainly revs My motor.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 8

Post a kinky image you find erotic.

I struggled with this one. I don't want to steal images but I couldn't find anything in the public domain that I really liked. That said, I make no claim to ownership of the following image. I found it on the Flickr of Webmastress. I have no idea if that person is the creator of this image or if they found it elsewhere. Google reverse image search does not give Me a definitive answer. The title is "Hard Times" and it appears to be Second Life photography or at least enhanced by Second Life images. In particular, I enjoy how the artist has played with depth of field for this piece.

Hard Times

Monday, September 7, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 7

What’s your favorite toy?

Hands down, it's My riding crop. It gives Me perfect control and I love the swishy, whistling sound it makes on the down-stroke.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 6

Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy. There are things about that fantasy I can't disclose here. However, the one that takes second place involves creating My own personal Borg collective. I'll let you use your imagination to figure out where that's going.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 5

What was your first kinky sexual experience?

When I was 19, I had a three-way with My best friend at the time and her husband. He used scarves to blindfold her and tie her to the bed. Not very exciting, in retrospect, but for My teenage self who, up to that point, had lived a rather sheltered life in a very small town, it was pretty daring.

Friday, September 4, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 4

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I remember watching Saturday reruns of the old “Adventures of Batman and Robin” television show with Julie Newmar as Catwoman. In every episode, she managed to capture either Batman, Robin or, occasionally, both and keep them in some form of bondage. And even when they were struggling to escape, I always got the impression that she and Batman weren't nearly as adversarial toward each other as they pretended to be. It was more like an elaborate game of one-upmanship. I always wondered if Batman really wanted to escape or if he would have preferred to stay right where he was. I wanted to be Catwoman when I grew up and My style of dominance reflects that.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 3

How did you discover you were kinky?

Sometimes it seems like I was always kinky; the only question was which side of the whip I preferred. That was resolved about five minutes after I picked up My first riding crop.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 2

List your kinks.

There are far too many to list all of them. In no particular order, I have a special fondness for:
  • Financial domination
  • Orgasm control/tease and denial
  • Feminization/sissy training
  • Transformation/modification (cosplay, rubber dolls, tight lacing, etc.)
  • IE/psychological enslavement
  • Psychological edgeplay/mindfucks
  • Cuckolding fantasies
  • Service-oriented submission
  • Shoe worship
  • Anal play (strap-ons/plugs)
  • CBT
  • JOI

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

30 Days of Kink - Day 1

I haven't been posting much, mostly because I've been enjoying My summer and haven't really cared about blogging. I've been a bit more active on My other social media accounts, especially Tumblr and Twitter because they're quicker and easier to update when I'm on the go. If you aren't following Me, you should be. Links are on My sidebar. Clicky clicky.

To get Myself back in the swing of blogging, I decided to do another "30 Days of X" meme. So, for the month of September, I bring you:

Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that Means to you. Basically define your kinky self.

I am dominant; I am not Merely a top. I am the leader; I make the decisions and have the final say in all aspects of the relationship between Me and My subs. While I often delegate responsibilities and prefer for My subs to be able to offer an informed opinion on any given subject, I always have the last word on everything from what My subs eat to how they spend money.

I'm also a sadist. I like causing physical and mental anguish and more is usually better. That doesn't mean I want someone who is a pain slut, though. Too much of a good thing is bad. Part of My enjoyment of sadism comes from knowing pain is fun for you, up to a point...and after that, it's torture, but you'll take it because I want you to take it. A pain slut never reaches the point where pain stops being fun and starts being a test of endurance for My pleasure. That's not nearly as much fun for Me. I want you to suffer for My amusement.