How My Garden Grows

My little garden is starting to bloom. I've got zucchini, watermelon, beefsteak and Roma tomatoes, and a bunch of herbs like oregano and basil. What fresh fruits and veggies are you looking forward to this summer? Got any gardening tips?

Still Here

Ugh, I haven't updated this blog in ages. I like to spend as much time outside in the spring and summer as I possibly can so I just keep forgetting. Here's a small sample of what I've been up to since My last post:

Honeysuckle

Wintergreen

Butterfly bush

I'd promise to update regularly, but I'm afraid I'd be lying. Instead, I'll just promise to try to remember to update at least once a week. But I can't guarantee I will. My time is just too valuable to waste on you losers.

Let's face it, the only way for you to get My attention is to tribute. Cash, gifts...either will work. Even then you'll be lucky to get a few minutes of My precious time, but you can always hope. Good luck. May the odds be ever in your favor.

TGIF

Happy Friday!

I hope everyone had a good week. I've been doing a lot of yard work lately, helping My roommate get all the brush that accumulated over the winter bundled and ready for pick up today. Despite some weather-related setbacks, I'm happy to report we succeeded in meeting our deadline. Woo hoo!

Now I plan to treat Myself to some well-deserved R&R.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going out with friends to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I insisted on going to a matinee so I can be home in time to watch the Kentucky Derby. One of the many things on My bucket list is to go to Churchill Downs and watch the Derby from the box seats while drinking a mint julep and wearing one of those ridiculous hats. I'm not a hardcore horse racing fan, but it's one of the few sports that interests Me.

 I know you want to finance My trip. After all, what else are you good for unless you're pleasing Me? Oh, that's right...nothing. So be a good little minion and get down on your knees. Now, slowly slide your hand into your pants. That's right, dig deep...deeper...and pull out that wallet. Now click one of My tribute buttons and send Me that cash. Good boy.