Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 29
Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, princess, goddess, ma’am, etc.)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?
I prefer to be addressed as "Miss K" but I also accept "Goddess" or "Princess." I only accept "Mistress" from slaves who wear My collar.
As far as the use of titles in general is concerned, I have no opinion. If people want to use them, great. If not, that's cool too. What titles individual people choose to use is none of My business.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 26
What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?
I love it. I'm at a point in My life where I'm far too busy to maintain a real life kink relationship. I have too many responsibilities and goals I'm trying to achieve to devote Myself to a D/s relationship. Online play allows Me to be mobile and still get My kink on.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 24
What qualities do you look for in a partner?
There are so many factors that go into finding a compatible partner that I hardly know where to begin. A few of the most important qualities are (in no particular order):
- Intelligence
- Honesty
- Loyalty
- Generosity/likes to spoil Me
- Being considerate/putting My wants and needs before his own
- A good sense of humor
- Nerdy interests like sci-fi/fantasy
- Compatible kinks
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 23
Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
Of course they've changed. I've grown as a person, met new and interesting play partners, and been introduced to a much wider variety of activities than when I began My journey into kink at 19. I discovered there's so much more to BDSM than tying up a sub and fucking; there are as many ways to "do BDSM" as there are people. If you can imagine it, there are people somewhere out there doing it and having a hell of a time.
I've discovered I'm much more interested in dominance than I am in topping. I'm not particularly interested in quick "sessions" although there are plenty of people who want to know if I'm available for them. I find sessions boring, hollow, and unsatisfying. Don't get Me wrong; sessions are great for those who enjoy that style of play and I'm not dissing them at all, but they're not for Me. I want to get to know My subs and develop relationships with them. For Me, this is all about the long game.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 22
What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
Kinky relationships are still relationships. There is, literally, nothing different about keeping a kinky relationship healthy versus a vanilla relationship. Honesty, integrity, open communication, etc. are all vital elements of any healthy relationship, kinky or otherwise.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 20
Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
After 10+ years, I understand kink/bdsm pretty well. There isn't much I don't understand. There will always be people who make no sense to Me, but that's as true of sports fanatics as it is of kinksters.
Likewise, there aren't many kinky activities I'm curious about; rather, I'm curious about people.
Friday, September 18, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 18
Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
One-trick ponies and do-me bottoms. I have zero interest in having a "foot slave" or instructing a guy to suck another guy's cock for My "pleasure". I don't give a fuck about fulfilling your fantasy; you're here to make My life easier and more pleasurable in whatever way I see fit. If you can please Me, then I will probably reward you, but it's not guaranteed. Learn your proper place or GTFO.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 17
What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
There are a couple of misconceptions that go hand-in-hand that need to die in a fire. The first is that kinky people are in any way more open-minded, tolerant, accepting, enlightened, or [insert adjective of choice] than anyone else. We're not.
Kinky people come from all walks of life. We can be religious or not, conservative or liberal, sweet-tempered or bitchy, or any combination of traits you can think of. The kink subculture is as rife with arrogant dipshits who couldn't find their asshole with both hands and a flashlight as the rest of the world. There are also just as many brilliant, creative, and generous people in the kink scene as there are anywhere else. Being kinky is not a badge of honor; it's just like any other hobby. Some people are hardcore fans, others are more casual about it, and others (the "vanillas") don't care about it at all.
Why is this important? Because it means kinky women are just like other women. Say it again for the people in the back.
Kinky women are just like other women.
Oh, you thought just because a woman was kinky it meant she was "easy" or that she would automatically be interested in your wank fantasies? Bwahahahaha! No.
Here's the thing people, especially kinky men, need to understand: Your pathetic little dick is not special. You are not special. If you are not making time with vanilla women, being kinky is not going to improve your odds. If anything, it will lower your chances because men are statistically more likely to develop sexual fetishes than women.
Of the women who are kinky, more of them are likely to be submissive than dominant because the patriarchal society we live in tells women their "natural place" is to be submissive. Which is complete bullshit, but most women can't or won't overcome their cultural programming. Not that I'm trying to diss submissive women in any way. I'm not. I completely support a woman's right to make her own choices and do whatever makes her happy and fulfilled, but the bottom line is that dominant women are in shorter supply than submissive ones.
Let that sink in for a minute. There are fewer kinky women than kinky men. There are even fewer dominant women. For every dominant woman, there are probably ten men who claim to be submissive vying for her attention. Dominant women like Me can afford to be picky because we know we're in short supply and our time is a hot commodity.
Now you start to understand why you have to bring your A-game to the table when you're trying to find the dominant woman of your fantasies. It's not about you, it's about her. You have to put her wants and needs before your own Every. Single. Time. If you are truly submissive, then you have to devote yourself to a life of service. Most of you don't have what it takes because you're just selfish, entitled assholes who want to bottom long enough to get your dick wet and then you're done.
And now you also understand why women require tributes or charge for sessions. Because most guys don't even have an A-game. You've barely got a C-game.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 16
What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
Finding partners who can meet My exceptionally high standards is probably the most difficult thing. I need someone who is intelligent enough to keep up with Me and too many submissive men just don't have the brain power to hold up their end of an intelligent conversation that goes beyond talking about kinky sex or sports stats. The vast majority of men are boring as fuck.
Monday, September 14, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 14
How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?
Real life kink looks a lot more vanilla than most people realize. Bills still have to get paid, the house/apartment still has to be cleaned, laundry has to be done, and kinky people are still humans who get sick or have bad days or are just too tired to play sometimes. Real life kink has nothing to do with a sub being locked naked in a cage 24/7 except when taken out to provide sexual service.
Porn videos, books like the 50 Shades trilogy, and other fantasy-based masturbatory materials are not realistic in any way, shape, or form but that's what a lot of submissive men expect. Some spend their lives trying to find someone to provide them with the carefully staged fantasies they've seen in porn, and they will always be disappointed. They will flounder from one partner to another, forever trying to recreate what they've seen or read about, but real life never measures up.
Those guys never seem to realize that what they want is what a professional dominatrix gets paid to provide and that real women have needs, desires, and goals that must be met before the kinky sex happens. Face it, guys, nothing in life is free and you're going to have to pay to ride this ride. Either you're going to pay in time, attention, and being a supportive partner who actually cares about a dominant woman's needs before your own or else you're going to pay in cold, hard cash. Figure out which form of payment you prefer and get comfortable with it.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
30 Days of Kink - Day 5
What was your first kinky sexual experience?
When I was 19, I had a three-way with My best friend at the time and her husband. He used scarves to blindfold her and tie her to the bed. Not very exciting, in retrospect, but for My teenage self who, up to that point, had lived a rather sheltered life in a very small town, it was pretty daring.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
30 Days of Books - Day 21
Favorite romantic/sexual relationship (including asexual romantic relationships)
I've read a lot of romance novels and novels with romantic subplots. A lot, as in hundreds. Of all of them, My favorite romantic relationship is between Merry and her men in Laurell K. Hamilton's Meredith Gentry novels.
That's right, I said men. Plural. How Merry winds up with six husbands and at least another half-dozen part time lovers - all at the same time - is a long and convoluted story, but suffice it to say there's a lot of sexy time happening in these books. Ohhhh myyyy.
I've read a lot of romance novels and novels with romantic subplots. A lot, as in hundreds. Of all of them, My favorite romantic relationship is between Merry and her men in Laurell K. Hamilton's Meredith Gentry novels.
That's right, I said men. Plural. How Merry winds up with six husbands and at least another half-dozen part time lovers - all at the same time - is a long and convoluted story, but suffice it to say there's a lot of sexy time happening in these books. Ohhhh myyyy.
What's your favorite amorous relationship in a novel?
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
30 Days of Books - Day 16
Least favorite plot device employed by way too many books you actually enjoyed otherwise
The Voodoo Punanny/Magical Vajayjay. Sex with the main character results in another character gaining magical abilities or being instantly healed of all wounds, both physical and mental.
Super Sex Organs aren't limited to paranormal books either. All that Bad Boy needs is some hot monkey sex with a Good Woman to cure him of all his emotional demons. The gender-swapped and equally overdone version of this trope is when the traumatized victim falls into the arms of a hero with "magical healing cock" and is cured, hallelujah! Because intimate psychotherapy is totes legit, amirite?
What overdone tropes are you sick of reading?
Friday, September 5, 2014
30 Days of Books - Day 5
A book or series you hate
The 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I don't care how popular they are, GTFO with that trash.
These books are shining examples of every writing cliche in every "how not to write" reference book in the history of ever. Every. Single. One. It's bad enough that 50 Shades is fan fiction of the Twilight novels - which are poorly written in the first place - but E. L. James' writing is even worse than Stephanie Meyer's! Proving, once again, that talent is not a prerequisite for fame and fortune, it's just a perk.
To make matters worse, 50 Shades takes the abusive relationship elements found in Twilight and ramps them up to 11 by adding BDSM to the mix. This study in domestic violence is further glamorized by making the perpetrator a multi-billionaire. Don't get Me wrong; I have no problem with kink as long as it's between consenting adults. Obviously. The key word here is consent. 50 Shades violates the informed consent rule at every turn and then rationalizes it away by claiming it's part of the male lead's neurosis and should be forgiven because it's not his fault.
I call bullshit.
But don't take My word for it. Check out The 50 Shades Reviews over at Bizzybiz Blog. Amberance reads the 50 Shades trilogy (so you don't have to) and her reviews are hysterically funny. Don't try to drink anything while you read her blog unless you like the burning sensation of liquid spewing out your nose.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 28
Something old
My great-aunt left me this antique turquoise and silver ring. I was in grade school when she passed away and My fingers are freakishly small - I wear My great-grandfather's baby ring on the smallest finger of My right hand - so I was never able to wear it. It sat ignored in My jewelry box for over a decade. Then, last fall, I decided to try it on just for laughs. Imagine My surprise when I discovered it fits now.
Do you own any family heirlooms or other old things with special memories attached to them? Is there an old building in your city with architecture you admire? Comment and describe it to Me.
My great-aunt left me this antique turquoise and silver ring. I was in grade school when she passed away and My fingers are freakishly small - I wear My great-grandfather's baby ring on the smallest finger of My right hand - so I was never able to wear it. It sat ignored in My jewelry box for over a decade. Then, last fall, I decided to try it on just for laughs. Imagine My surprise when I discovered it fits now.
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Kiriel's birthstone is turquoise |
Monday, March 17, 2014
Erin Go Bragh
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
I hope all of you stayed warm, safe, and had a fun time. It was pretty chilly where I live, but I managed to get out of the house for a bit with my BFF, S. If you've been reading My blog, you'll remember her cat died recently. I took her to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants to cheer her up.
Oh, look...pictures!
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Started with salad |
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Added a sandwich and stuffed baked potato...told you I like to eat! |
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Apparently, I have a Thing about restaurants with aquariums. What's up with that? |
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Windy enough I didn't bother trying to do My hair. |
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At least I got her to smile. Mission accomplished! |
Friday, March 14, 2014
R.I.P. Jack
I'm taking a day off from My regular schedule to help my BFF, S. Her cat, Jack, crossed the Rainbow Bridge late last night. It was a sudden loss, and she has another cat, so we had to take Jack-Jack to the vet for a necropsy to make sure it wasn't something contagious.
Jack was originally a feral cat who decided to adopt S.'s former roommate, M. When M. moved to Arizona to help care for his elderly grandmother, he left Jack with S. Jack was always a skittish kitty, thanks to his hard-knock life on the streets. But with S. he finally started to relax and be a sweet and affectionate pet.
S. and I met and became friends a little over a year ago. She'd had Jack for a couple of years and his penchant for hiding under furniture or in the kitchen cupboard was just a personality quirk she'd come to accept. Until she went out of town for a week and asked Me to look after her pets while she was away.
Within that week, Jack decided I was his human, thank you very much. When I came over to visit, he would often greet Me almost as soon as I was in the door. If I spent the night at S.'s house, he liked to sleep with Me at the foot of the guest bed. He never - and I mean never - sat on anyone's lap. Except Mine.
So, yeah, Jack and I bonded and I'm very sad to see him leave this world. But the vet said he died of natural causes, most likely a heart attack. Jack was a senior kitty. The vet estimated he was around 12 years old. So his death isn't entirely unexpected, it just came as a surprise since he'd been fine and playful earlier in the day.
Goodbye, Jack-Jack. You were a good boy and you will be missed. Catch you on the flip side, Mr. Fuzzybutt. I'll have plenty of scritches for you when we meet again. <3
Monday, February 17, 2014
Happy Valentine's Day
I hope you all had a good Valentine's Day. I know I did.
I know you little piggies want to see pictures of My pedicure. Even though you don't deserve to get that lucky, I'm in a good mood so I'm feeling generous. I'd originally planned to do an ombre gradient in red, pink, and white, but I ended up running out of time. I had to settle for a single color. I still think it's cute.
I'm not involved in a serious relationship right now, but there are a couple of special people in My life. J. and P. are the guys I see on a regular basis. Both of them know we're not exclusive and that suits them as well as it suits Me. It's all good.
Although J. and I had planned to go out, he ended up having to stay late at work and was exhausted by the time he got home, so we changed our plans. Instead of going out, we ordered takeout and spent a lovely, intimate night watching movies. Sort of. We didn't exactly finish them, if you know what I mean. J. might not have felt up to going out on the town, but he more than made up for it. ;-)
P. usually works on Friday night, and Valentine's Day was no exception. So we had our celebration on Sunday instead. P. took Me out to a cute little Chinese restaurant near his apartment. I'm not one of those gals who orders a dry salad and then takes four bites of it. I'm not fat, but I like to eat. The restaurant has a nice buffet so I got to sample several items.
O.M.F.G. you would not believe how good the food is. The pot stickers were to die for! We will definitely be going back. For some reason, they have a big, freshwater aquarium at the front. I'm not sure why, since the fish aren't the sort normally served in restaurants, but it was cool to look at. I had to snap a couple of pics with my phone.
Heads up, cuckolds! Ask Me how you can pay for My dates and receive all the juicy details.
I know you little piggies want to see pictures of My pedicure. Even though you don't deserve to get that lucky, I'm in a good mood so I'm feeling generous. I'd originally planned to do an ombre gradient in red, pink, and white, but I ended up running out of time. I had to settle for a single color. I still think it's cute.
Kiriel's perfect feet |
I'm not involved in a serious relationship right now, but there are a couple of special people in My life. J. and P. are the guys I see on a regular basis. Both of them know we're not exclusive and that suits them as well as it suits Me. It's all good.
Although J. and I had planned to go out, he ended up having to stay late at work and was exhausted by the time he got home, so we changed our plans. Instead of going out, we ordered takeout and spent a lovely, intimate night watching movies. Sort of. We didn't exactly finish them, if you know what I mean. J. might not have felt up to going out on the town, but he more than made up for it. ;-)
P. usually works on Friday night, and Valentine's Day was no exception. So we had our celebration on Sunday instead. P. took Me out to a cute little Chinese restaurant near his apartment. I'm not one of those gals who orders a dry salad and then takes four bites of it. I'm not fat, but I like to eat. The restaurant has a nice buffet so I got to sample several items.
O.M.F.G. you would not believe how good the food is. The pot stickers were to die for! We will definitely be going back. For some reason, they have a big, freshwater aquarium at the front. I'm not sure why, since the fish aren't the sort normally served in restaurants, but it was cool to look at. I had to snap a couple of pics with my phone.
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The aquarium at the restaurant |
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That sucker is huge! |
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