How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?
Real life kink looks a lot more vanilla than most people realize. Bills still have to get paid, the house/apartment still has to be cleaned, laundry has to be done, and kinky people are still humans who get sick or have bad days or are just too tired to play sometimes. Real life kink has nothing to do with a sub being locked naked in a cage 24/7 except when taken out to provide sexual service.
Porn videos, books like the 50 Shades trilogy, and other fantasy-based masturbatory materials are not realistic in any way, shape, or form but that's what a lot of submissive men expect. Some spend their lives trying to find someone to provide them with the carefully staged fantasies they've seen in porn, and they will always be disappointed. They will flounder from one partner to another, forever trying to recreate what they've seen or read about, but real life never measures up.
Those guys never seem to realize that what they want is what a professional dominatrix gets paid to provide and that real women have needs, desires, and goals that must be met before the kinky sex happens. Face it, guys, nothing in life is free and you're going to have to pay to ride this ride. Either you're going to pay in time, attention, and being a supportive partner who actually cares about a dominant woman's needs before your own or else you're going to pay in cold, hard cash. Figure out which form of payment you prefer and get comfortable with it.
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