🩲 Panty Dropping Good

 I was just told by a female friend that the fragrance combo I'm wearing is a "panty dropper." I have some testers of Layton and Carlisle by Parfums de Marly and decided to layer them together just for funsies. My friend is smokin' hot, so this compliment made My day. Naturally I'm going to have to get full-size bottles of both now. Who wants to spoil Me?

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's My birthday. Good little piggies can start the New Year right by sending Me a gift from the special birthday wish list of things I most desire. There's nothing quite like knowing you've served your Goddess. Imagine the special feeling you'll get just from knowing you've pleased Me and put a smile on My face. If you're very good, I might even create a video of Me wearing or using your gift as a thank you.

The best piggies send Me gifts and tributes all year long.

Pardon The Mess

A couple of days ago I decided to overhaul the look of My blog. The previous template was pretty, but it was also old enough that it didn't come with social media integration. Although I was able to get around that by adding widgets to the sidebar, they looked clunky. The menu was also a bit messy and hard to read.

I've tried Wordpress in the past and it has some nice features, but I really don't like the back-end UI. Also, WP is even more prickly about blogs with "adult" content than Google, which is bad enough as it is. Maybe one of these days I'll decide it's worthwhile to shell out for a full website including a Wordpress-based blog, but today is not that day.

To be honest, I shouldn't have to spend anything. Paypigs should be doing that. Make yourself useful and send a tribute. Better yet, adopt My internet bill. We both know your existence is meaningless unless you're working to please your Goddess and make Her life easier. So get to it!

Anyway, I decided it would be easiest to just update the template for this blog. (Okay, you can stop laughing now.)

I set up this blog years ago. YEARS. I forgot how much of a pain in the ass it is unless I want to use the default settings for everything. As if that weren't enough, I'm also working on creating My own heading banner because I don't like any of the pre-made banners I've found. Photoshop, ftw!

So now I get to spend the next eleventy billion hours elbow-deep in code and pixel art. Excuse Me while I go find a container for My joy. #firstworldproblems

I deserve gifts to ease My burden. Send Me something.

Just A Little Foodporn

For your viewing pleasure.

I drove up to the city for lunch with My bestie today. We decided Panera sounded good.

I don't take a lot of selfies, but I look too damn fine today to miss this opportunity.

Red matte lip to match My blouse

Get down on your knees and give thanks for My existence. Show your gratitude with a tribute. Want to know how you can pay for My dates and send Me clothes, lipstick or other gifts? Read all about how to serve Me here. I give extra rewards to good little pets who fund My lifestyle.

Slowly Recuperating

I have been sick for over two weeks.

It sucks. Big time.

Get your flu shots, people, because this is the worst. My doctor's office wasn't able to get enough supplies so I couldn't get Mine this year and I am deeply regretting not trying to find another place to get one. I figured, since I work from home, that My risk was low and I could probably get away with skipping it.

Nope.

I've been either in bed or, on really good days, on the couch for most of the time I've been sick. Bless My roommate for being willing to bring Me soup and NyQuil when he's home and keep me stocked up on tissues.

Last night, I was finally feeling well enough to live tweet The Flash and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Today, I'm managing this blog post. Go Me! With any luck, I'll be able to take calls on NiteFlirt again very soon.

Of course, you always have the option to call My ignore line. I'm happy to drain your wallet at any time of the day or night while you listen to My congested snoring. It's all you deserve anyway. Or, you can make yourself useful by sending Me cash and gifts to brighten My day.

Whichever method you decide to use, you should get to tributing right now. Hurry up, meat puppets. I know you have a desperate need to feel that paper sliding through your fingers. That tiny trouser worm of yours is quivering with anticipation already.

Just do it.

Spoil your Goddess This Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Chocolate and flowers are passe. If you've been wracking your puny little brain to come up with the perfect gift for Me - and you should be - fret no more. I've made it so easy even a pathetic loser like you can manage.

Here's a link to My special Valentine's Day Wish List. I expect you to pay for express shipping to guarantee I have all of My gifts on time.

My Valentine's Day Wish List

If all of the items on that list sell out, you can still send a gift from one of My other lists. I also accept Amazon gift cards via email.

Cuckolds, I expect you to pay for My Valentine's Day date night activities. Send Me cold, hard cash via NiteFlirt by clicking on any of the buttons on My tribute page. If you please Me, I might deign to post a photo or two from My date and allow you to live vicariously.

Get to clicking, minions. It's your sacred duty to spoil your Goddess, so hop to it. Chop, chop!

Wish List Wednesday

Why should I bother spending My money on a Powerball ticket when I have thirsty little piggies like you to buy Me things? (Not that I'd spend My money, when I could spend yours, of course.)

Since I've decided to take up yoga this year, I need clothes that will allow Me to bend and stretch while still looking like the Goddess I am. It's your job to make My life more comfortable. I've added these pretty yoga pants to My clothing wishlist on Amazon. There's a link to it as well as all My other wishlists on My gift page. I also accept Amazon gift cards and cash tributes, so there's no excuse for failure.

Clicky clicky, minions.

Not The Domme You're Looking For

Too many men have preconceived ideas about what a dominant woman is or should be. Usually, they infest My messages on various social media sites, sniveling for My attention without ever sparing a thought for what I want or how they can serve Me. I am not here for your entertainment. I am not here to cater to your fetishes. Get those silly notions out of your head.

• If you want an Amazon who is all "She-Hulk smash puny men, RAWR!" - I am not the Domme you're looking for.
• If you expect a stone bitch who constantly tells you how weak and pathetic you are - I am not the Domme you're looking for.
• If you're looking for an aloof and distant goddess to worship while she gazes at you from on high with nothing but disdain for your worthless existence - I am not the Domme you're looking for.
• If you need a gum-popping sorority brat to give you the finger and tell you what a loser you are so you can relive your high school inadequacies - I am not the Domme you're looking for.
• If you desire a high-maintenance snob who spends more time on her appearance than it takes for George R. R. Martin to finish writing a book - I am not the Domme you're looking for.

Make no mistake - there will be moments when I embody each of those archetypes, but don't think for a minute you can pigeon-hole Me or safely relegate Me to a category that makes you comfortable. I am so much more complex than anything you could conceive of in your porn-fueled fantasies.

If you want to serve Me, you need to think about how to please Me, not your assumptions and expectations of Me.

Holiday Blog Hiatus

The holidays are a busy time of year for Me. I typically travel to visit My grandparents and other family in the Midwest. I also have multiple parties to attend. Suffice it to say, I won't have time to entertain you losers with blog posts.

That doesn't mean you get to stop tributing though. Far from it! If anything, you should be sending Me even more gifts. I deserve presents and you're going to buy them for Me.

Don't worry, I've made so easy even a pathetic little worm like you can do it. Just buy something from one of My wishlists. Easy peasy. Can't decide what to get Me? I like gift cards and cold, hard cash too. Use one of the buttons on My tribute page or use My contact form to send Me codes for Amazon gift cards and Greendot MoneyPaks.

Know what else makes an awesome gift? Pay My bills. Why should I have to waste My valuable time slaving away at a mundane job? That's what you're for. Go adopt one or more of My monthly bills right now so I can focus on what's really important - ME!

Thank You Post

K. and D. made My day. Check it out...presents!

Of course, it's nothing more than I deserve. Have you tributed your Goddess lately? Why not? Send Me Amazon gift cards, or just send your cold, hard cash. Either works.

Thank You Post

She lives!

Sort of. I'm still sick - stuffy nose, coughing, tire easily, etc., but I'm slowly recovering. I want to thank everyone who sent Me get-well messages and gifts. Especially, B., who bought Me a couple of books to read while I'm laying in bed. Definitely better than flowers.

Alas, my illness resulted in losing my voice. Right now, I can barely speak above a whisper and my voice is squeaky at best. My friend T. says I sound like a mouse on steroids and has decided "Mouse" will be my new nickname. S'cuse me while I go find a container for my joy.

I'm drinking lots of hot tea with honey, gargling with salt water, and using every other remedy I can think of to repair My voice faster. This sucks. Of course, more presents and tributes would help. Get clicking, piggies.

Blog Hiatus - Sick Leave

Just a quick post to let My loyal subjects know I'll be taking a break from blogging. I caught a summer cold so I'll be relaxing and pampering Myself until I feel better.

In the meantime, you should be tributing and sending Me gifts. Get clicking, minions.

In the Mail - The Last Kiss Goodbye by Karen Robards

The Last Kiss Goodbye - Karen Robards

Yesterday, I tweeted about a package I received in the mail. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to blog about it in detail. Here's an update:

Below the postage mark on the package was a little sticker that told Me it was something from Penguin Random House. However, I don't recall ordering anything. It turned out to be a copy of The Last Kiss Goodbye by Karen Robards. This book wasn't on My Amazon wishlist, so I know it's not from one of My loyal subjects. I have a vague recollection of entering a book giveaway contest a month or two ago, so My best guess is that I won. Woo hoo!

From the blurb on the back, it looks like a paranormal romance/mystery-thriller. Could be interesting. Have you read this book? Did you like it? Have you read any of Karen Robards other novels? Comment and let Me know.

30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 25

Makes me smile

I got presents in the mail. Woo hoo! Gifts always make Me smile.

I know you want the privilege of making Me smile too. Well, I've made it easy for you to send Me a gift from any of My wishlists. Know what else makes Me smile? Money. Lots of it. Send Me a tribute. Just remember, size does matter.

30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 10

Something new

Check out My new purple sandals!

One of My pay piggies bought these for Me. A girl can never have too many shoes. Have you bought something from My wishlist? Why not? Buy Me a new pair of shoes or boots and I'll make a special blog post just for you.

30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 9

Technology

I got a Nexus 7 tablet a couple of months ago. I love it!

Tablet and cover paid for by one of My loyal subjects. Have you spoiled your Goddess today? Get out that wallet and make yourself useful, loser. Send a gift from one of My wishlists. Better yet, just hand over your cash by clicking one of My tribute buttons. I also accept Amazon gift cards and Greendot MoneyPaks. Use My contact form to send codes.

30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 7

In my bag

I like to play with makeup. Contribute to My beauty regimen by sending Me gifts of lipstick, nail polish, and other cosmetics or buy Me a book about makeup techniques.

30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 6

Hands

Right now, I bet you're imagining My long nails scraping across your skin. Aren't you, piggy? Don't you wish you could feel them digging into your soft flesh or hear them tap, tap, tapping on the arm of My chair as you kneel before Me? Don't make Me laugh, you'll never get that lucky. But there are other ways to please Me.

Want the privilege of picking the color of My next manicure? Of course you do. Buy Me some nail polish from My wishlist and I'll make a special blog post just for you.

Still Here

Ugh, I haven't updated this blog in ages. I like to spend as much time outside in the spring and summer as I possibly can so I just keep forgetting. Here's a small sample of what I've been up to since My last post:

Honeysuckle

Wintergreen

Butterfly bush

I'd promise to update regularly, but I'm afraid I'd be lying. Instead, I'll just promise to try to remember to update at least once a week. But I can't guarantee I will. My time is just too valuable to waste on you losers.

Let's face it, the only way for you to get My attention is to tribute. Cash, gifts...either will work. Even then you'll be lucky to get a few minutes of My precious time, but you can always hope. Good luck. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Wishlist Bitches

Just a few gifts from My wishlist bitches. Have you paid tribute to your Goddess lately? Well, it's not enough. I always want more. We both know the only way you could ever be useful to a superior woman like Me is to buy Me things. Get over to My gifting page and pick something from one of My wishlists.

Better yet, just turn over your cash and I'll do the rest. Reach deep into your pants and pull out that 3.5 inches of plastic. I don't care if it's Master Card or Visa. Now imagine My fingers stroking it as you click one of My tribute buttons.

That's right. Do it...do it now. Can you feel it? Click another one. Make it bigger this time. I want it and you're going to give it all to Me.